Sarah Palin Exposed In Heavenly Biography

Advance reading copy tells all for all to tellJoe Hilley’s bio-op of Sarah Palin elevates her to near-messiah status


by Leinad Moolb

CYBERSPACE(RUSHPRNEWS)09/28/2008 — This previewer was able to finagle (is that still a word?) an “advanced reading copy” (ARC) of Joe Hilley’s bio-op about GOP frontrunner, er, running-mate Sarah Palin, and he can report here that it’s a glowing, gloating, beatific confirmation of her rapid ascendance to the dizzying, dazzling heights of presidential power’s world-certified aphrodisiacal group love-in embrace. Henry Kissinger, keep your hands to yourself! Sheesh!

The book is that good. It’s going to be a media love-in, 2008-style. Everyone loves a winner, and Governor Palin’s a winner in this much-praising and much-to-be-praised about new testament to postmodern, pre-election spotlightainment. You won’t be able to put it down: “She’s not heavy, she’s my sister.”

Mr. Hilley’s certainly done his homework, and his dedication to the heavenly cause is apparent on every page — and beyond reproach. Not only does he admire Ms Palin, the 44 year old wundersarakind of Alaskan politics and now a world-historical hero artist in her own right who makes even Pakistani prime ministers go nuclear and blush — when they meet her face to face and ask for a hug.

Hilley elevates Gov. Palin to an elevated pedastal high above the G-dless “shining cities” below. Palin is an angel sent by G-d, molded by G-d (Kenyan witchcraft prayers to the contrary!) and running for high office on G-d power. Why does G-d need a hyphen in His Name? Google it.

From her humble beginnings in an Iditarod log cabin to her teenage forays into sportsmanship and smalltown pageantry in Wasilla — which is a neat PALINdrome for “Abe Lincoln”, by the way, in Martian orz-speak — Ms Palin comes across well. She should. She’s the real McPalin, no matter which side of the fence you are fence-sitting on.

The book is a bio-op of extreme delicacy, written on a dime, spun perfectly to fit today’s weltanschang .Note to editor: spell check, please, that German vord! Kissinger used it the other day when he met Gov. Palin, and it’s still ringing in my ear.

sarah palin dancing with husbandIt must be said right here and now: The Hilley Palin bio is in no way a hatchet job; quite the contrary, it is quite the contrary. It’s a beauty salon job of heavenly enchantment, and Palin supporters will go away vindicated in their belief that she is a new messiah — and who says women cannot be messiahs, too?

However, critics of Sarah Palin, and they are legion, mostly on the paranoid left, might find Hilley’s dishing better left unsampled. Voters who know longer read books can catch the reviews on Larry King and Sean Hannity.

All in all, to sum it all up, this is a book whose title most likely will be an answer on a future Jeopardy show guest-starrring — who else? — retired senator John McCain.

Read it and weep: 1. Because it tells all, sort of, and 2. Because it was from the very beginning a hopelessly tall order to fill. Hilley nailed it, though.

Note to readers who bothered to scroll down this far: You will be able to download the entire contents of Mr Hilley’s book about Sarah Palin on the Internet someday, according to rumours echoing back from Juneau.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Leinad Moolb is a humorist who spent 12 years in Alaska, none of which he spent in Wasilla. He now resides in Cyberspace. To contact him, pro or con, email him at:
leinadmoolb@gmail.com

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